First You Learn, Then Take the L...

Date Uploaded: July 18, 2019

Learn, Fail, then Earn!

I remember there was a time in my life when I will see all my failures as end points, I will get stuck and give up on the task. This can be range more than a shooting range in the middle of Yosemite Park in the midst of deer season, again ranging from rejections from potential relationships, in relationships, businesses, sales pitches, sales closing, getting my first client, getting a sponsor for my Instagram page and every little failure to the biggest failure in my life.
I admit, I was devestated to the point the little voice in my head kept pushing me down again and again.

I didn't quit though because I knew I deserved the most out of life, I knew I deserved more than the constant hair pulling and endless sleepless nights crying over the most unecessary crap. I kept going through many books about success, failures and bought countless courses through this topic and over all- they all shared one common thing.

I know this is going to sound cliche, and cheesy yet the point of failure is growth what I'm going to say. It's simple af, no one else is going to tell you otherwise unless it's the average joe working a 9 to 5 (which is ok when you're doing it while working on your passion, more on this on a later blog). See we humans hate pain, we despise it thus we avoid it at all costs because according to scientists pain makes our brain feel horrible after a long repeated exposure to it, whether it be physical or mental pain.

Pain from failure is essential, even when you learn it by yourself or from others. As a matter of fact, observational learning, has the same effect on our brains when we see it from other people when we do it ourselves. (For example, a little infant sees grown adults walking thus concluding to the infant it can walk as well). After a while, the pain from our failures start to dissolve in the back of our minds and we no longer have obligation to feel the pain.

A practical example from my life is when I started working out in the summer of 2018, I remembered the gnawing workouts I stressed my body into because I couldn't even lift a five pound weight or even do one single pushup without the need of a spotter! No joke, I was incapable of doing basically anything when it came to Gym "stuff" and I will look at all the other guys with such admiration and envy with a sour lemon puckered mouth. The people will only stare at me with such pity or closed smirks as they didn't want to let out one ounce of laughter on their face. I wanted to quit, to give up on my dream of even lifting one pound ever again or the chicken breast or tuna I need to eat yet I knew I had to push through or being healthy in life.

When I pushed through the failures of losing my breath after 5 minutes on the treadmill, lifting those five pound weights, or the puddles of sweats I made on the gym floor for over more than a year now- I realized the end result of finally losing 40 pounds in the time-span which was a huge goal of mine.

I realized it the end result wasn't all good, and then it made me tear my hairs all over again- falling one by one slowly to the cold dismay floor. At the exact moment of almost of having another breakdown against my body, I noticed it wasn't the diet I slowly pushed myself through or the miles I ran or the weights I lifted or even pushing against all the pain or even the failures itself.

It was what each failure taught me, what each meant to my heart, what each one grew my character to the way it is right now.

The most hilarious thing with the human body, after many psychology books and courses I learned with, is the growth you gain from all those failures. It's the mindset you need to interpret those failures, the manner in which you interpret those failures is the case of losing or winning in life. I interpreted my failures as learning curves, not as endpoints (as I mentioned in the beginning of this story), and with this mindset I conquered through it.

First I learned, then I took the L, and I finally earned these lessons.

Now this is all motivational and brings a warm fuzz to your heart like wearing a warm fuzzy jacket on a iceberg, freezing December night and you might be wondering. "Well, Jay, how is this practical to my current situation in my life?"
You came to the right place because I love practicality, and science over the spiritual stuff (at most times, @innervibration helped me change this perspective). The most practical advice I can give right now is to change your mindset, which begins with the little voice in your head.

I didn't tell you this straight away because I want you to read this entire story yet when I will breakdown and wonder the countless failures in my life, I would tell myself in the following format:

"I may be failing at this thing called life, yet I know I will learn something from this" "I may have gotten rejected, yet I know I will learn something from this" "I may have gotten fired from this job, yet I know I will learn something from this"

Adding this little phrase, yet I know I will learn something from this , at the end of your thoughts and sentences will slowly change your midnset from the dead beat dude to the confident and badass dude.

I strongly believe in this as I have seen my failures as beautiful, learning stepping stones instead of those irritating, hair tearing dead ends. I believe this so much I want to give you a freebie today, yep, a completely free resource guide to making you the best version of yourself with my FREE GUIDE TO MAKING A KILLER FIRST IMPRESSION.
This is it for this blog, I don't sell you anything on these blogs yet when you sign up for my weekly newsletter then you will get a free resource guide for making a long lasting first impression on anyone you meet and the first select few chapters of my book titled "The Power of Authenticity" (available for only $6 on Amazon) absolutely free. It will definetely benefit you in your journey of self-improevement and being a complete badass, boost your charismatic skills, and make you a better human being. What are you waitng for?! These resources usually cost you around over a thousand dollars yet I am giving them to you for free.

Don't you dare miss this free and amazing resource, and it's only for FOR A LIMITED TIME, GRAB MY FREE RESOURCE GUIDE AND SELECT CHAPTERS OF MY BOOK TITLED: The Power of Authenticity which increases your low mindset to a charismatic midnset by reducing anxiety and making you a complete badass. HURRY THOUGH! Time is runnin thin, signup for my newsletter today! Again, click here.

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Jay Arias

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Main Takeway Keypoints

  • Don't Let Failures Be an Endpoint
  • Let Your Failures Be Learning Curves
  • Love Yourself Through The Process

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