Why Insulting Other's is Bad For You

Date Uploaded: August 15, 2019

And Don't Spill the Tea...

First, we will break down why I genuinely hate the west coast because it brings me happiness from all the amazing warm people.

I am kidding, today I will discuss why insulting and talking smack about people is completely killing your conviction, aka the thing that makes you confident, authentic, and likable to people. Without conviction, then you will be deemed as another dude or gal who lives a normal life and has nothing going on in life because you waste time talking down of things or people. Before I start, I completely understand there are some people who don't have a lot of things going on for them yet this doesn't apply to said people. This only applies to the people who decide to start spilling the tea (hence the title of the podcast) or insult others because they simply are bored or uninspired with life.

Many people start spilling the tea with others because it's an easy thing to do, as humans we tend to focus on the negative rather than the positive in life. This is more truthful when we have the people who sit at the side of the coffee shop mainly known for their caramel macchiato's, who are spilling tea when we all know they're sipping on their coffee. Dang, let me stop right there- that is the best line I have said yet on this podcast. I am truly a badass… Anyway, getting off from the side tangent- the point is people who are complaining about others usually don't have a lot going on for themselves. This is a hard truth to hear, even for me because there's this unconscious desire in you and me to talk smack about others because we believe its the easy route. The way we spill tea, even the way we say it's ok to "Spill Tea" or "Sis, spill the tea", or "Dang, spill the tea. It must be super hot". I believe it isn't the way we should be living on a daily basis, because there are two things doing in your mind when you do "spill the tea".

The first thing you are expressing with spilling the tea on others, is you have nothing to do in your life. Think about it in this story, if two fishermen are on two separate boats on a beautiful, reflecting lake in the middle of the woods and they are fishing for fish. The first fisherman, lets call him Rob because his face is shaped like a nice Rob, starts to cast his fishing line to the ocean and sits on the boat waiting for the fishes to come to him while the second fisherman named Sully does the exact same thing except he starts screaming at the wet, vast water because he is impatient with it thus leaving him to always be moving his fishing line.
After the end of a hot, dry day in the lake Rob comes back home with twenty big fish, which if you can stack them together will reach the empire state building, in his boat and came back home grateful with not uttering a word from his gleaming mouth. While Sully only comes back with three little fish, as tiny as a lego piece and starts to complain why he only received little fish. Obviously, my great story does have a purpose, or else you will be only craving Salmon the rest of the day, which is Rob never talked about his actions or even when he caught the fish. Rob was silent every step of the way, while Sully decided to let his words rip through the sky punching a black hole in the blue sky because he was impatient, insecure about other things maybe.

This is the same thing when you decide to spill the tea on others, you are only making it worse on yourself because you have nothing going on in life like Sully. Don't let this be the downfall of your path, rather be quiet about other people's gossip. As the title suggests, "I have tea on all of you yet I decide not to spill" because this is a good mindset to instill in your head. I literally have tea on my family, friends, and even random people (strangers) who open up to me because I naturally am a wholehearted person heck even some people call me the male version of Oprah Winfrey which may be a compliment or insult.
Despite all the horrible, interesting, or even eye-opening things I hear from all these people in my life- I decide to not spill the tea. I believe it is a waste of my time, only will get me nowhere in life, and I will be perceived as a negative person because I talk negatively of others. These three reasons are why I don't spill the tea, also known as talking smack about others or gossip because I have other things to do.

The second thing that's happening in your mind is the insecurities being exposed to the world, think about it. If you are hung up on talking smack or dropping gossip, then what does that say about you? Could it mean you are a person who talks smack about people in life? Are you insecure for others to talk smack about you, or others to drop gossip on you? I don't know this about you, so ask yourself this hard dropping question. Are you afraid for others to be spilling the tea on you behind your back, and if so then why?

Personally, I do not care what others say or do anything about me because I know my true character. I do not care the things are being said behind my back, or literally in my face, because I know why they do this (which will be another podcast idea *wink wink*). I hear it all the time "Man, this guy has 1K followers on his Instagram on his podcast", "This guy will not make it with his new page, he will not be successful with it. He should quit right now, find a stable job and go to college like everyone else." I hear it all the time yet I don't let it affect me because I do not spill the tea on others, rather I embrace other peoples achievements.

Instead of spilling the tea on others, I decided to make tea for them. Ooh, let me stop, make this go viral by posting this to your social media. The line I said which states "Instead of spilling the tea on others, I decide to make tea for them." The meaning of "I decide to make tea for others", I mean that I talk good about others rather than gossiping. I embrace the achievements I see in my friends, family, or random strangers who I've met.
This does three things for me: I am perceived as a confident person because I acknowledge other people's strengths, socially competent because I know many people who are phenomenal people, and I can be talked more in others because they will ask "Wait, Jay told me this last week. You actually can fit your hand in your mouth? That's so cool!!!!"

The endpoint of today's podcast is to not spill the tea on others, no matter the macro or inordinate tea you possess and start talking the good of others. That's it for today if you're not already subscribed to the newsletter, which my team sends out every week, then make sure to click here and input your email to receive more inspirational articles and be the first to be notified when these blogs come up.

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Jay Arias

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Main Takeway Keypoints

  • Don't Insult Others
  • Complaining equals Bad Karma
  • Be careful what you put out

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